Funny/awful conversations

Me "Bawar you just put that shirt on why'd u throw it over there?" "Its dirty. I mean really really dirty." Me "You havent even gone outside! How can it be dirty after 5 minutes??" Bawar "Ok look, when I was in the bathroom my pee got on the collar, ok?" Me "What?? how? ...nevermind."

Bawar:'DAAAADDDD come here I think my poop is bad, it looks wrong! Am I sick? OMG AM I GONNA DIE??" "Dad: "Yes, u are."

My cousin Ashna (father of 3, taxi driver):

"Shine, I really want you to die while you guys here. I've always wanted to truly mourn someone, and miss them because they are no longer on this earth. I want to tell people that my cousin came back from America, and then died. But dont worry, I swear I will pay an imam $5 every month to come and read Quran at your grave. Muhammad, would you cry if shine died?"
Muhammad: "Uhh Yes, a lot."
Ashna: "Why, she's just your sister jeez"


My uncle promised to quit smoking during ramadan. On the secxond night, hes sitting in a corner smoking. My brother is sitting next to him:

Me: "What r u doing??"
Uncle: "What? nothing, im just sitting here"
Me: You have a cigarette in your hand, I thought you stopped!
Uncle: I did! Its not me! Bawar just wanted to light it and play with it! I swear!

Grampa: Shine, Im going to tell you to do something, and you have to listen to me.
Shine: Uhh depends on what it is.
Grampa: You cant go back to America. You have to stay here, and get married, move in with us, and take care of me until I die.
Shine: Grampa I cant do that. Im in school, and I have a few years left, and Americas my home, I cant just stay here.
Grampa: I dont care. You have to stay here. Its what I want so you have to listen to me.
Shine: Grampa I dont think my mom would like that very much.
Grampa: Yes she will, she's my daughter, and you're my grandaughter, I like her more than I like you, thats why Im not making her stay.
Shine: Ohh. Still, I cant do that, sorry.

2 hours later

Grampa: Shine, why wont you stay and do what I told you? it sounds like a great life, you should be honored.
Shine: "I just cant Grampa, I have to go home."
Grampa: Shine why dont you want to get married here? huh?
Shine: Because I dont know any of the people you suggested, and Im too young to get married.
Grampa: Too young?? you're 20! You're getting wrinkles! Your grandma was 15 when I married her!
Shine: uhhh sorry Grampa.